You want the formula for a flourishing life? There it is. Much easier written and said than done, but there it is. It warrants some explanation, and of course, a bit of convincing, because when in life is anything ever as simple as a formula, an equation, or a black-and-white answer? Almost never, because we are emotional creatures (especially those of us with that extra X chromosome), and therefore rarely make decisions without some amount of emotionality. And that’s a good thing, so long as you use your emotions to guide your processing and growth, but not allow them to take you over, to any extreme, even when the emotions are super happy ones (what goes up must come down…) Let me walk you through each of the above components, explain why it’s a part of the equation, and then try to shed some clarity on allowing this formula to be colored by the very real emotionality of the human experience and still hold true.
Attunement is the process of aligning with your true self, your due North, your inner voice, your internal compass. There are several ways to fine-tune your attunement, the ideal being a meditation practice because this practice allows you to find space and stillness with yourself, go inside, and listen for what’s coming up. The more you engage with this practice over time, the more adept you are at recognizing who you really are, what you really want, and when you’re not in alignment with those things. And what happens when you inevitably come out of alignment (translation: growth spurt on the horizon, and growing pains are a part of this process)? You must be attuned to the change trying to happen, and have the Courage to allow it even if it means failure, falling, loss or letting go. Here’s where emotion comes in. We are emotional creatures, we have hearts and feelings and a spectrum of manifestations of these feelings. So when we’re faced with loss or letting go, we may panic, become depressed, get angry, hold on tight and hope staying right where we are will be ok. But it won’t be ok, because you’re in a growth phase and that’s what we are designed to do-grow, evolve, become better versions of ourselves than before. So fighting it only drops you back down into a less-than version, a place of frustration and stuckness. Acceptance, on the other hand, says to the Universe: “I’m ready to grow, and I trust that all of this is unfolding for the highest good.” This gives you more of the good juju, the stuff that infuses you with satisfaction and validation of your forward momentum. The opposite, well…
I recently came up against some really hard choices, and I made the bold ones; the ones that were in alignment with my body and spirit, and the girl I want to be, not the one I was or am. Almost immediately, the Universe responded with opportunities and experiences to cultivate that ideal future self. And then I panicked. I realized the consequences of my choices as their finality set in. I lost the man I loved, I rescinded my enrollment to graduate school. And as fear took over, those opportunities started to fade and wane, one workshop I was to speak at was cancelled, another gig postponed. My fear and lack of conviction was sending a dilute response to the Universe in direct contrast to the bold manner in which I had made the choices in the first place.
So unless I want to stay in this place of unraveling, I’ve got to move myself forward toward Acceptance, of the divine order of things, of my own inner knowledge and guidance system, and of my faith and trust in that system. Who knows what may unfold? That’s not for us to know. That’s the whole point of being in the moment – if you could tell the future, you’d never be right here. I could go back to grad school when the time and fit are right, my guy and I could find our way back to each other when we’re poised to enhance each others’ lives again. I only know it’s not right now, and this acceptance, without the shackles of fear, leads to complete present-moment immersion and joy. Another word for that? Flow.